Mid-Life Muddle: Why Does My Career Feel So Tight?

Mid-Life Muddle: Why Does My Career Feel So Tight?

Our mid-life is that time period when we re-group prior to embarking upon the second half of our lives.  It is a time of introspection, indecision, and perhaps quite a bit of resulting confusion. That sense of where we were is no longer where we are. Frightened by an uncertain future that lacks the adrenaline of our former years, we make great efforts to suppress that nagging inner voice that says we’re not as energized by our jobs like we used to be.  Having muddled through this episode of my career, I can share with you that you are not alone in your search for more meaningful work.  You’ve hit the intermission of your life act, and the numbing doubt about what you need to do to feel good about yourself and your work is anything but relaxing.  In fact, it can feel very unsettling for us former workaholics who loved the challenge of meeting our goals and achieving rewards for excellent performance – the plaques, the compensation increases, the promotions – they all seem to have lost their luster of yesteryear.

Remnants of the past are still with you.  Until now, you’ve experienced the comedies and tragedies of your most recent joys and losses, successes and failures.  And now, you sit in that in-between time, that not-so-clear, perpetual “nowness” in which what has gone before is just that – gone.  Memories of the applause, the fanfare and the excitement of the dramatic play yield to an otherness we cannot accurately define that we never imagined would happen.

Whether it’s because your relationship has been severed, your career cut short, your home foreclosed, or your health in dis-ease, or some combination of these and other life changes, all is suddenly different and strangely foreign, as if someone changed your theatre mask while you weren’t looking.  You are now free to explore all of your treasures and tragedies, identifying the wants and dislikes of paths ventured prior, set against the drama of family, friends and the “Greek Chorus” of public should-haves and should-not-haves; phrases lost in the mist of confusion and dread – confusion about how my life got here and dread about where the heck I am going to go from here.

You may find yourself asking, “What is my right path, my next act, my higher purpose?”  These questions now stir incessantly around your restless mind.  Amidst the reality of  housing rents, child care payments, paying mortgage and tuition payments that aching inner self is wondering if that childhood desire to be an artist is realistic.  The question now becomes “Will I be better off working for a corporate entity or for me?” It is the new mantra of the mind’s chorus, set apart from the players, and your now in-attentive audience caught in the pleasantries of their own life dramas.  It’s not unlike a dream whereby the scenery has shifted and the dreamer must move on without the benefit of time and place to anchor one to the reality of this new period called “intermission.”

With all of the past regrets and successes, intermission is a time when one can dig deep to the inner-self, that deep, penetrating center where the actor finds the energy of her mask, her next personality.   All of the hope for a new future is quintessentially found in this sacred “down time”, a momentary relief from the cacophony of life’s enfolding drama.

As the Ink Psychic, I can help you to assess your next work character role as you prepare for Act III.  By looking at your handwriting, I can confirm your innate talents and how your emotional temperament and developed values fit new career choices.  Or, I can help you to see that your current career could be tweaked in such a way that you’re simply in need of altering your own vantage point about work.  We all change as we grow and the motivations that drove the first half of your life may not feel anywhere near like those of your intermission, or the beginning of your second half.

Wouldn’t if be great to have a coach to help you kick-start your creative engines again?  You can with a telephone or screencast reading of your handwriting.  In this way, I will explain to you what makes you tick and how you can rejuvenate the self that seemed to have disappeared sometime during the latter part of Act II.  Yes, the memory of your former self is just that – a memory of what was, never to be physically retrieved.  But take heart because the memories can serve you well in letting you know that retrieving that positive, enthusiastic energy of a fulfilling career is possible again – it just may not fit the same and in fact, may be an entirely new design.

While you’re caught in this intermission period, why don’t you consult with me about what your subconscious mind is telling about your special gifts that have yet to be manifested in work?  Your handwriting reveals to me as a graphologist nearly 150 characteristics about your individual personality – your emotional responses to your environment, your philosophical and spiritual approaches to life, your inherent talents to be nurtured and acknowledged, your beliefs about yourself, and even your fears.  Let me help you uncover like a detective what irks you and what will work for you.  I would consider it a privilege to help you navigate your intermission for a healthy and fulfilling second half.  As you see the approach of sunset, realize that the second half can be just as beautiful, seen in a different light.


A Different Kind of Portrait of Duchess Kate

Duchess Kate's Portrait was made available to the public for the first time this past week, and whether or not you like her image on canvas, it's complete and will remain as is with her Mona Lisa  look alike smile, intelligent eyes and flowing brown hair.  What we know of her is more about the externals just listed, plus more than a few photographs taken by the paparazzi - some absolutely beautiful, while others being quite distasteful and at minimum, a total invasion of her privacy.  Kate is not yet well known but she is the newest pretty leader of the royal family; but as Kate's handwriting shows, she's not just another pretty face.  In fact, she is quite different from her popular deceased mother-in-law, Diana.  Every bit as beautiful as Diana, she has the outgoing style and fashion sense of Diana, however, her intellect and analytical ability far outweighs that of Princess Diana.  Kate is much more organized, too.  She is likely to keep everything in its rightful place (even though she has an entourage of servants to help her with her long list of commitments).  A perfectionist, Kate likes to be in control.  I would surmise that perhaps this desire is met with opposition from the Royal Family- their expectations for the newest member of its family could trample Kate's mature need for independence.  Fortunately, Kate is a very loyal personality who shows deference for traditions and history while at the same time moving forward and extending herself in social circles.  She has a nice balance in her personality and she takes responsibility for her actions.  

The past is never really very far from Kate's thoughts, so she will most likely honor the history, pomp and circumstance of her role with a special reverence for these traditions.  She uses her intelligence to engage with individuals from diverse backgrounds and she is an astute listener.  She can converse with the most intelligent leaders one moment, and with a twirl across the room, she could engage herself with those the monarchy may view as being in society's lower rung.   She does, however, have a tendency to question authority like her mother-in-law Diana whereby an individual would not gain her utmost respect until they'd proven themselves to her.  In other words, a person's title or function would not phase Kate in the least her preferring a friendly countenance and an intelligent curiosity with those with whom she speaks.  Honest and discreet, Kate will be one to keep her secrets and those of her new family very private.  It would take much to gain her confidence and she has the intelligent sense to not lose control in divulging unsafe gossip for the tabloids.  There simply will not be such nonsense as long as Kate is at the helm of the family media contacts.  

A very mature person, Kate learned early in life that to be independent and to control her own life passage was more effective.  Her straight personal pronoun "I" denotes a good sense of self, but more important, a sense of independent maturity for a young woman her age.  She learned that to rely on parents was not her best choice, so she's elected to count on her own resources to achieve her goals.  

Duchess kate has many interests and sometimes this desire for variety causes her to become confused.  Fortunately for her, there will be much variety in her new role as Duchess Kate and mom of the Royal Family.  I don't believe she will get bored for quite a period of time.  If she were isolated in one of their beautiful castles without outside interaction, I think that would be a different story.  But, Duchess Kate will be sure to get involved in philanthropic and social engagements given the role of Duchess affords.  Without a doubt, Kate is capable of becoming a force for social justice (again, much like Princess Diana in this regard, too).  

Kate is particularly sensitive to criticism, so she should be cautious when dealing with the press and a critical public.  She cares very much about her image and about how her personal image is viewed.  A caustic comment of critique could send her reeling for days, wondering how she could have presented herself better.  She is a quick study so it is my opinion that time will show her changing in the sense of her becoming stronger in resisting that sensitive streak that makes her especially vulnerable to the opinions of others.  Perhaps that is something that only mature age will squelch, given that she is sensitive to critique about her work because of her immense sense of pride, and her being strongly sensitive to criticism about the personal life choices that she makes too.  If history serves us well, she may run into some significant challenges if she becomes deeply hurt by in-laws and a public that condemns her choices. 

A fluid thinker, Kate has strong communication skills and is adept in analyzing what information is pertinent to the situation against what she might consider irrelevant.  Highly analytical and investigative by nature, she can sift through information quickly and make good judgments for herself.  Kate must catch herself, however, when she gets too emotionally attached to a situation or outcome.  She possesses an impulsive streak that can come out in displays of impatience when she is caught off-guard or is under an inordinate amount of stress for a lengthy duration.  More often than not, Kate is a very diplomatic individual, sensitive to the feelings of others in both her inner social circle and in the world at large.  Compassionate and caring, Kate is a very strong-minded individual who values lending social counsel and financial support to those whom cannot fend for themselves.  Detail oriented and responsible, Kate could be a marvelous leader of a philanthropic foundation dedicated to those needing her assistance.  At the same time, she could relate to benefactors and donors who are very successful and intellectually gifted.  She loves to learn new information and understand what makes people tick and she can become mesmerized in dinner conversation that feeds her innate curiosity for knowledge. 

Kate's "y's" show material frustration which is rather peculiar to me in that she's born of a family having financial means and she certainly is materially comfortable now for the remainder of her life.  In her mind, however, the "y's" show some lack of fulfillment in the physical realm.  Perhaps this handwriting sample was written during a time in her life where she questioned her financial and romantic status with Prince William.  It could also be that she has yet to integrate her societal role and feels some frustration about this process.  She is probably not fully aware of this frustration herself as this shows in her lower zone letters which are typically the handwritten letters of the subconscious mind, according to handwriting analysis.  Overall, this seems to the main area of Kate's life that needs some development for her to feel whole.  It might be one of those life lessons that comes with age and experience.

In summary, Kate is truly a bright woman with a good, practical, intelligent personality.  Friendly and intelligent, she knows exactly what to say, and usually at the right time, too.   On occasion, her questioning mind and effusive style can throw William and others for a loop!  But on the whole, she is very mature and understands people and their motivations such that she will be able to navigate the most treacherous waters of royal life.  She can get caught up in enthusiasm for many activities so she should watch the possibility for burning the candle at both ends.  With motherhood on the way, Kate could become overwhelmed with duty such that she loses a sense of achieving her own personal desires.  Sacrifice and duty figure strongly in her handwriting, but this is oddly juxtaposed against a tendency to independently question authority.  It certainly will be an interesting ride for Prince William to keep everything calm and balanced in the household.  Kate is strong, however, and she has a tenacity of purpose that cannot be stopped unless she is broken down over a period of intense pressure.  As long as she learns when she can say "no" to social commitment and obligations, she should be fine.  And her love for adults will certainly translate to her love for children.  Kate will need to keep working on her selected projects; her great mind will need some intellectual stimulation in order to remain fulfilled.  She does not really know how to sit still.  Being such an active person, Kate I am sure will love being a new mom in her castle with Prince William by her side.  She truly is a straightforward, honest and dedicated person who will represent her family with great candor, intelligence and fun-loving finesse.  I wish Duchess Kate the best and know she will be a positive force for Britain and the larger world as well.  And for the little ones that will be calling her 'mother' they will feel so treasured and safe that her intelligent spontaneity and charm will make them feel incredibly loved.

Lance Armstrong - The Fallen Hero. Will He Crumble? Probably Not!

Oprah Winfrey just finished interviewing Lance Armstrong for a television show that is to be aired on Thursday of this week; the word is out already that he admitted to lying and doping with drugs in order to achieve athletic prowess he perhaps otherwise could not have achieved.  I never followed Lance though I certainly recall his handsome face on magazines, television news shows and athletic gear commercials.  He may have hit the pinnacle of great heights, only to fall far and fast with the removal of his medals, the forfeiture of his commercial sponsorships - overall, a total fall from grace.

So I thought to myself, "I wonder if his handwriting shows the characteristics of evasiveness, untrustworthiness, or a drive to achieve so strong that it might overtake a moral high road?"  I googled his name and lo and behold, I found a handwriting sample of only his signature, but it's revealing of his character so I figured I'd post it for you to see.

Because there was no date listed I can only gather that this signature was given within the past decade.  Perhaps it was posted on the Internet 1 year ago.  But what I see in his handwriting, barring some changes that may have occurred over time is his incredibly strong ego.  In fact, one might actually say that he was indeed arrogant about himself and his accomplishments.  If you view the extremely tall capitals in his first and last names it is clear that he is no shrinking violet.  However, when capitals are so huge as compared to his lower case letters one can be sure that he can in fact be quite fearful of being "found out" for being a fraud; the huge capitals belie an individual who is very demonstrative in public, highly outgoing and self-poised.  But deep down these huge letters protect a weaker self - the inner individual who knows that he is deep down, rather ordinary or weak.  It's a strange combination, but the subconscious mind helps us to overcome our deficiencies with bloated presentations of grandiose accomplishments.  Lance's capitals shows that he truly believes he is better than everyone else and that he deserves the accolades.  But deep down in that inner glow of truth, Armstrong also knew, in his weaker moments, that he is not superhuman at all, but rather very human indeed.

His bold writing also indicates high energy and great fortitude, which we all know about as a result of his celebrity career.  Lance's straight downstroke of the "g" shows a person who is highly determined with much stamina to stay the course.  This "g" also shows that he is willing to spend lengthy periods of time alone and that he rather enjoys his own company.  His dark lettering reveals a person who does not forget a thing - a wonderful memory is intellectually one of his strong characteristics, along with a strongly investigative mind.  Further, he is a very sensual person who relishes sensory experiences.  I can only imagine how much he loved gliding on his racing bicycle through the countryside of some foreign land.  It must've been such a heady experience for him, given his strong physical desire for feeding that sensual side of his being.

The "o" in Armstrong is indicative of a very private, secretive person.  In fact, that to me is the greatest tip off that he might not tell me the truth if I were having a casual conversation with him.  It's difficult to conclude from only one "o" but I would say that the secretiveness could move into pathological lying; the loop on the right side of his "o" shows a very private, discreet personality that keeps secrets - his own, and those of others.  On the left side of that same "o", there's and arching entrance which again denotes secrecy and self-denial.  It is possible that he convinced himself that he was telling a truth when in fact it would be a tall tale.  His other communication vowel, the "a" in Lance, also shows the same character personality trait of secretiveness.  Additionally, and perhaps more disconcerting is his inked in "a" at the top of the letter, exposing a rather aggressive personality who could possibly become violent if provoked.  Of course again, this is only one letter, so I would need to see more writing samples with full sentences to assess his character profile more in-depth and with more definitive accuracy.  It's his signature that we see here and perhaps the body of his handwriting would indicate confirmation of an aggressive, temperamental man, or more of an assertive personality who only has a tendency toward aggressive behaviors.

Lance is a dynamic individual in that he can be quite dramatic and exuberant, with an intelligent, perhaps biting sarcastic wit.  His cross bar in his capital "A" of Armstrong shows that sarcasm.  I would surmise that since this trait is located in his capital name of his last name, it probably is very much about who he is.  That sarcasm probably developed early in life as a self-defense mechanism in order to cover his fears.  One cannot know the details about why that defense was created, but I would hypothesize that perhaps his early life as a child and teen posed significant challenges and using sarcastic humor was an effective coping tool for him.

There is some repression of intimate emotional feelings in Lance's "n" and "m" in his signature.  Again, we'd have to see more of a sample.  His dramatic flair and bold temperament overcomes that sensitive self that would not like to address personal emotional issues of years gone by, or even current emotionally charged situations.  It will be interesting to see if Lance shows emotion when he talks with Oprah during her interview with him.  My belief is that based on his handwriting slant, he will not show emotional expression of sadness, hurt, or grief.  While he feels emotions very deeply (indicated by the darkness or depth of his handwriting) he is naturally inclined to stay objective and in control when conducting himself in public.  I imagine he would handle emotions with much self-protection; his unwillingness to express himself intimately might only come through if Oprah were to hit a very sensitive spot in his psyche.  And knowing Oprah, one of the best interviewers of our time, it's very possible that she accomplished this goal of penetrating the "Armstrong Armor".  Like a knight wielding his sword, he would tend to go on the offense, thereby causing fear in his opponents.  He is highly unlikely to fall apart in a sobbing mess of a man.  The repression displayed in his m's and n's in his signature shows that his belief is that one does not think about weakness, or negative emotion, never mind discuss such intimate thoughts.

Lance may be having the worst time of his life right now, but I certainly would not like to be one of the athletes who came in 2nd to his wins.  With all of the years gone by, how would one rectify that they indeed should have won the race?  Lance Armstrong's overwhelming winning streaks, his strong, arrogant personality and his self-assured poise that could turn prickly toward his competitors in an instant;  all of these personality traits must have been enough to keep other athletes quiet about any improprieties sensed along the way.

So another hero falls and we Americans look pretty darn silly for building his stardom.  I saw on the news today a rendition of his former bracelets that bore the phrase "L I E S T R O N G" where the "V" had been erased from its spot between the "E" and the "S", just as the many awards and trophies of recognition have been deftly removed from his den.  The power of words as symbols is quite significant.  And as you can see from my handwriting analysis skill, the will of the subconscious mind to reveal our personalities in handwritten signatures, notes and documents is incredibly powerful too.


Unemployed and Don't Know What To Do Next?

With 15 million of us in the USA alone without work, or underemployed, or unsatisfactorily employed it's amazing that we all get up in the morning and keep plugging away at a goal that imperceptibly has become a fog of uncertain tomorrows.  A magic genie to answer your prayers; a dear previous employer who calls up out of nowhere asking you to return; winning Publisher's Clearing House...these are a few of the fantasies that the unemployed dream about as they sit in front of their computers, looking at the screen in a dull haze of online forums, social media networks and job posting boards. Unless you've been undesirably unemployed for a long duration you most probably will have no idea what I am talking about.  That's okay because I suppose I would not expect you to understand the soul crushing despair and the sapping of self-confidence that comes with such a journey.  I consider myself to be a very sympathetic soul and when I was highly employed as a Dean of continuing education at a college in Boston, I had no idea how painful unemployment could be.  In fact, one might say that my view at that time was more in line with the pain of working too much and not having enough time for myself and my life.

Don't get me wrong, I do not miss those "watching paint dry" meetings where colleagues sit around a conference table and talk about the same inane topic that was discussed a year ago as if it was never thoroughly debated prior.  But at this point in my life, there are days that I would switch the boredom of unemployment for the stimulation of people watching at one of those conference tables.  The stress of meeting deadlines, complaints from customers, mean spirited politics and pressures about generating revenue were nowhere near as stressful as the dark place called "unemployment" that a good number of Americans face each day.  The humiliation of having achieved great goals only to be followed by judgments that you're one lazy person is in a word,  debilitating.  If it weren't for my faith in God and the companionship of my loving, wonderful, funny husband, I hate to think where I'd be right now.

Yes, I've learned some lessons through all of this and one of those lessons is that the work you do is the #1 question adults ask when you meet someone at the local restaurant bar or community social gathering.  "So, what do you do?" is the number one question that makes one's insides cringe when there is no socially acceptable answer.  My husband leans over and says, "We're in the witness protection program".  That actually seems to do the trick.  I used to make excuses and say that we really weren't in the witness protection program, but after years of taunting questions from well and not-so-well-meaning strangers, I sort of appreciate my husband's solution and relish the doubtful expressions on strangers' faces.  "Are they really in that program?" Hmmm...for those of you who are dealing with such questions, definitely try it - it will help you fend off the subsequent questions immensely.

When I told people that I was a handwriting analyst, there would be this look of incredulity, as if  I had broken all of the rules and that I could not possibly be making a living doing something so unusual and non-mainstream.  The second question would then be, "No really, what do you DO?"  "Oh my God, is not anyone sensitive these days?" I think to myself.  So then, if I'm in the mood to prove myself, I plop a white cocktail napkin in front of my inquisitor and tell them, "Write anything on this napkin, but don't tell me about yourself.  Then, sign your name on the bottom like you usually would do."  At this point, they start fumbling for a pen, curious to find out what this is all about.  Incredibly, they don't know what to write because when I say to write nothing about their work or hobbies, they have nothing to say.  Once again, it appears that our society has encouraged most of us to define ourselves by our work.  I've been there, so I know.  "Okay," I interject, "Just write that you're happy to be here".  After another dazed look, they start to write and voila, I am able to tell them all about their personality within 10 minutes.  A middle aged man told me recently that I knew more about him than his counselor and that I should have an office.

So what are your dreams?  Has unemployment drained you of your last ounce of energy such that you are spinning in a vortex of bewildered longing?  Are even your friends opting out of conversations by saying they have something important to attend to?  Is your mom even perplexed about what to say when you ask her, "What did I like to do when I was 8 years old?" hoping that some nugget of vocational insight might reveal itself from your former child self.  "Well, you loved animals".  Okay mom, I don't think I'm able to pursue a quest for the veterinarian track - too late for that wonderful career.  

So why am I writing you about this issue of unemployment?  First, because I do care about those who lose their careers, their jobs.  I know the dark hole you are about to enter, or have become stuck in, deep down in the darkness.  And if you read enough articles about the long term "hopelessly unemployed" you begin to take on that persona for yourself.  It happens.  Trust me.  You could be the most confident, pretty, charming and intelligent individual in the world, but experience a few years of being in the swamp of unemployment forms and lines and cross looks from social service workers.  It takes the spirit right out of you.

So perhaps it's time to have me take a look at your handwriting and let you know where your strengths are, even if you think you already know everything you could possibly know about yourself.  I might be able to help you pinpoint an innate talent that needs nurturing and development or simple encouragement.  Perhaps I can advise you as to the greatest fear that is blocking your successful attempts at a new professional life.  Handwriting analysis is so effective in exposing the subconscious emotions and thoughts from which your life is made.  Become the co-creator of your future and gain some insight about who your authentic self really is and how you might mold that self into a new profession.  Become the "Hopefully Unemployed" instead.

I would consider it a privilege to help you discern what career choices might make sense for you, given your unique gifts and personal style.  Save time and money by getting direct information that your own subconscious mind discloses in your handwritten letters and notes.  You will be absolutely convinced that a well trained handwriting analyst and counselor like myself can be of immense assistance in helping you to get out of that swamp of confusion.  Trust me.  I've been there and I want you to get out of that state of what I'd call "confusing considerations".  Make a commitment to yourself and consult with me about your vocational aptitudes.  It just takes a few moments to hand write me a message.  I've kept my fees very reasonable for the purpose of addressing challenges the unemployed face (i.e., less disposable income).  Equivalent to a co-pay with a reputable counselor, I think it's well worth the investment.  I would be grateful to have the privilege to help you on your way out of that dark hole and onto your new, self-aware, fulfilling life.


James Holmes' Handwriting: The Batman Movie Theatre Assassin

I hesitate to give such a dark personality a place on my blog.  There is something destructive about the energy of darkness and I certainly do not wish to draw the darkness into my sphere of light.  However, I thought about my handwriting analysis skill and how I might help one person, perhaps one parent or teacher out there who see the signs of a troubled youth, thereby saving his or her life and perhaps the lives of others who may be impacted tragically by the resultant behaviors of mental illness.

On CNN I saw a quick headline the other day about the writings of James Holmes and how he portrayed himself in cartoon caricatures much like one sketching an autobiographical picture of the devil himself.  His rendition was disturbing, to say the least.  In the left hand corner of his sketch he signed his artwork with his name and it was barely discernible.  He obviously was a very confused young man, not based in reality, when he signed this drawing.

So here's the image for you to see while I write about his handwritten signature and the red flags this type of signature should call to those of us who see such etchings in the future.  For attorneys to say that he is not insane is rather insane in itself.  The handwritten signature does not tell the entire story about an individual's character, but it indeed gives clear hints about how an individual perceives themselves in the context of society and the public view.  In this case, the knowledge of his actions he took are dreadful precursors to the analysis, but I could have seen this young man's psychosis long before such an awful tragedy occurred.

James' handwriting in his signature bounces up and down in the sense that his letters show a lack of consistency, as if they each were not on the same baseline.  It is as if his letters of his name were on the string of a yo yo, jumping up and down with abandon as he wrote.  There is no standard baseline from which to read his name; the letters in his last name really took a turn for the worse on April 6th when they go in a downward motion below the line given for his signature.  This trait is not good, whether it's for James or for other people who do this; at minimum, it refers to a sense of depression and negativity.

James' handwriting does show many angular formations which, depending on their placement could mean obstinancy and a sense of resistance toward others.  His angular lead-in for his "H" in Holmes shows temper, which by itself many of us do in our writings.  However, a handwriting analyst looks at the entire picture and stacks the traits that he uses to combine a full personality profile.  His anger is not benign as we all now know, and his signature told the truth of this conclusion well prior to the event.

See the "a" & "o" vowels in his name in both signatures? (April 6, 2012 & July 20, 2012).  The communication vowels are squeezed and filled with pools of blobbed black ink in all cases.  Certainly, this is a violent individual prone to losing control of his temper.  There is a rage in his handwriting that pools itself and gets blocked in his communication vowels - critical indicators within my discipline for identifying how a person communicates with others.  No doubt his family were well aware of his temper tantrums that may have begun long before the Colorado shootings.

James was an intelligent person and this could be seen in his angular letters, but the angular letters, while showing an investigative mind that grasps concepts quickly, also shows a very tension filled mind whereby thoughts were filled with a rage and angst that he attempted to repress.  The retraced "m' in his April signature in the word Holmes is indicative of significant emotional repression - he was repressing his feelings of rage and hurt and his writing slumps below the line revealing a depressed individual who may have suicidal thoughts.

The loop in the lower case "s" in Holmes shows a persistence and fluidity of thought.  He was not of average intelligence to be able to booby trap his apartment in the manner that was reported in the press.  His persistence in creating connecting bombs with chemicals was admirable in the sickest way; not many people would have the intelligence and persistence to create such a puzzle of wires and chemicals that would dissolve a brick building if inadvertently set off.  Just think what James' intelligent mind could have achieved had the choice been funneled toward good works.  It is mind-boggling to think of the contributions he could have made with that persistence and problem solving ability to see a project through to its conclusion.  Anything from creating new pharmaceuticals to getting a spaceship to the moon could have been his higher calling given a different set of choices and behaviors.

Highly analytical, James has a brilliant way of deciphering information.  He lacks the stability, however, to maintain a clear focus.  The bouncing of his letters in the mundane zone of his handwriting shows how challenging it must be for him to feel emotionally consistent in his responses to stimuli.  Perceived wrongs would cause James to lose a sense of control and fall into the abyss of deep clinical depression.

When I read the article in CNN about how in the opinion of the defense attorney that this young man is "evil" and "not crazy" I decided that I needed to write about his handwritten signature and how indeed his handwriting indicates that he was and is psychotic, coupled with emotions of rage and violent tendencies.  I would agree that his actions were evil and were pre-meditated.  His thinking letters (m's) in his handwriting show a terribly imbalanced man whose anger swallowed all of his brilliance in repressive strokes of the pen.  Rage overtook his emotions which needed to break through in its expression; Unfortunately, this rage did so in a most violent and tragic manner.  Perhaps we will never know the cause of his rage, but his handwriting shows that he felt it in his daily life.  Suppressing the rage only served him for so long, and then his innermost feelings became an erupting volcano in that Colorado theatre.

I would need to see a more full sample of his writing, but there is no doubt that this young man was headed for a violent end.  This analysis in no way excludes him from responsibility.  In fact, I might posit that the pre-conceived plan shows us that he was smart enough to create a strategy and carry it out with deadly consequences.

According to his handwritten signature, which is only a part of the story, this young man was less likely to kill himself, and more likely to hurt others.  There are no cross outs of his first or last name, which would illustrate the desire for self- destruction.  So, the attorney was probably right when he said, "He wanted to kill everyone in that theater".  Thank God he was unable to achieve that goal, though he did enough terrible damage to last a lifetime.

God Bless those of my readers who were in some way impacted by this dangerous personality; I think in some way we were all impacted by this terrible tragedy, albeit some of us were effected more deeply than others.  Because I do not wish to honor the perpetrator of this horrible event, I elected not to show his picture on my blog in an effort to minimize his motivation for celebrity status.

I pray for the relatives and friends of lost loved ones.  I pray for the victims of the violence who will forever hear the sound of gunfire and screams in a theater that should have been the arena for a wonderful outing with family and friends.  I pray for our country that has fallen prey to these horrible crimes committed against innocent civilians.  I pray for our world where other disturbed individuals gain ideas as to how to perform their own crimes. I pray to God that perhaps one person reading this blog will realize that an individual's handwriting, when accurately analyzed by a professional, can show us hints of an author's violent intent before people get maimed or killed.

And finally, I pray that my readers take this blog entry with the awareness that my intentions were good ones for showing the public how knowledge of handwriting analysis can help predict impending violent behaviors. Further, that anticipated aggressive actions can be appropriately addressed by psychological professionals trained to block their damaging impact.

God Bless.


Jimmy Savile Controversy in the United Kingdom

I honestly know nothing of Jimmy Savile.  In fact, if it weren't for online publications like the Daily Mail and other news outlets, I would not know about this man nor his celebrity.  I  have not read many details of his life because frankly I was hoping to catch his personality utilizing handwriting analysis profiling.  Allegedly, he's been accused of sexual exploitation of youths; certainly not a behavior that the majority of us in society would condone.  He died, so we will never know the full truth of such accusations.  So it made me wonder, is it possible that he would show a propensity toward such outrageous behaviors in his handwriting?  In fact, I found a sample of his handwriting that was posted on several websites in the form of a personal letter he sent to Margaret Thatcher.  A good number of journalists questioned how he even negotiated a place within the inner circle of such a classy, balanced and powerful lady.  One never knows.

So I thought I would give you a peek at the handwriting I saw that he apparently wrote, along with a synopsis of what I think about his character.  Here is the writing sample that he wrote several years ago, I presume.  Let's look at his handwriting and see the pros and cons about his character attributes to see if his writing belies a person prone to sexual deviance.  Since I do not know anything about him and the specific story that is being reported on CNN, the BBC and other mainstream news media outlets, I believe I am at an advantage to be more objective about his personality as shown in this clear handwriting sample.

Jim's handwriting shows a very intelligent individual who had an analytical mind; he learnt information very quickly and assimilated pertinent information with fluency.  He thought of himself as being dignified and he felt tremendous pride about his work.   He no doubt was unable to maintain poise in most environments.  However, because of a flaring temper streak that became expressed in intense outbursts of anger he would lose control of his inner feelings.  His handwriting shows that though he had some respect for traditions and societal expectations (which were maintained by this personal sense of pride) he could not control his temper and it most often manifested in work situations.  When Jimmy felt impinged upon by the critique of friends, fans or managers he flew off the handle.

Jim had a gift for physical precision:  Perhaps he played sports that required such physical abilities, but it could also have translated to mechanical activities that required a facile hand-eye coordination.  Perhaps he was a great tennis player or golfer or horseman - I do not see the specific activity, but I know he was a physically active person who was quite adept in making fluid movements with his athletic body.

Jim was a person who was rather self-conscious - given his sense of pride he must've held back some of that temper I see in his handwriting.  It's not too dignifying to be shouting at the top of your lungs at a colleague, so I would imagine that his family and close associates saw this behavior more than the general public.

Jimmy's handwriting shows that he felt immensely close to his mother, though his relationship with his father was either cut off or cold at best.  It appears that his mother was the stronger influence in the family and his father and he may have had a contentious or distant relationship.  Perhaps he lost his father through divorce, travel or even death - like I said, I know nothing of his background so perhaps the gap in his relationship with his father is known in the United Kingdom.

Which says why perhaps he was so taken with Margaret Thatcher.  Perhaps she was a mother figure to him with her balanced and intelligent social skills, her intellect and curiosity, along with her maternal stability.  I don't know of course, but that could be the attraction on his part.

If you look at his "g" and "y" letter formations, there is an indication of physical frustration.  Whether or not this reflected his sexual feelings I cannot say for sure, however, this did appear to offer some challenge for him in this area of his life.  Jimmy's first name in his signature illustrates a dramatic personality with a high physical drive, along with a flair for the whimsical.  The smiley face in the lower loop of his "J" shows that strong sense of self that is defined with humor.  The "y" in Jimmy is of a man who seeks comfort:  his "y"swings to the left hand side of the page, indicating a desire for material well-being and a need for security from his past.  He was a man who wanted to be taken care of, particularly from a maternal figure.

His other lower loops in his y's and g's indicate romantic frustration.  His writing shows a sex drive that cannot be met fully; the lower loops of these letters do not entirely make it back to the baseline of his handwriting which if they did would indicate romantic fulfillment.

Loyal and detail oriented, Jimmy Savile had an exploratory mind - he loved to learn new information and he questioned his life's purpose.  He loved a good debate, and with his temper t's, he was apt to use his intelligence to squash opponents who were less intelligent and astute than he.  Emotionally, he could change on a dime.   Sometimes he was very charming and friendly while at other times he was more inward and socially unpredictable.

Interestingly enough, Jimmy's writing indicates that he was an honest person.  He could be reticent at times, while in other situations, he could be incredibly blunt.  His spontaneous emotional responses to issues of the day could be off-putting to those who were not expecting such a blunt statement to an otherwise innocent topic being discussed.  He really loved a good argument and relished using his intelligence to spar with the best of them - he probably was known for this quality because it stood out as a significant trait of his character.

Did Jimmy Savile have emotional instability such that he could perform such heinous acts against children?  Well, there are indicators of mental stress, particularly in terms of material/sensual needs being frustrated.  Further, his handwriting shows unpredictable emotional responses to his environment. There was a likelihood that those closest to him knew more about his difficult side.  Was he abused himself as a child?  He could have been, given the emotional remoteness of his father figure (in Jimmy's mind, and perhaps in reality).  Or, are people attacking a celebrity for obtaining their own agenda such as monetary compensation?  One never knows (and I really do not know his story at all) but his handwriting shows that he could have been intimidating to youth and adults alike with his short fuse and sharp mind, along with the power that his affiliation with Margaret Thatcher and others offered him.  Such accusations would be strongly met with a thorough defense.

I am not saying he is innocent, nor guilty.  But what I will say is that he shows in his handwriting inconsistencies in emotional well-being and this could have manifested in unseemly behaviors in his search for love in all the wrong places.

I realize that I haven't answered the question about whether the allegations are true or not.  Jimmy Savile was a complicated fellow and he probably was quite fun to be around at times.  Perhaps his intelligence, humor and effusive displays were attractive to enough people so that the darker side remained hidden from sight.  We won't know for sure, but I would say his mental force would have kept people quiet for fear of reprisal and thus, the negative experiences individuals had with Jimmy were kept secret.

And if Jimmy Savile is proven guilty in the future, please do not lump him together with Margaret Thatcher.  I looked at her handwriting and she was very bright, strong minded, and honest.  Emotionally, she's one stable lady who shows much stamina, grace and strength.  I'll save her handwriting for another day.  Suffice it to say that she is dissimilar to Jim Savile in many ways and perhaps her friendship was more of a maternal one whereby she treated him like the son who needed guidance and support others would be less inclined to proffer.

Overall, Jimmy Savile had some problems, and they were related to his sexual frustrations and material needs remaining unmet.  But, does this say that he was a paedophile?  I will not take that leap.  Indeed, there've been over 400 allegations divulged since his recent death in October of this past year.  While he cannot defend himself, it makes one wonder about the fear of reprisal that I alluded to earlier in this discourse, and how his secrets were therefore kept by intimidated victims.  We will never know the full story, but in Jimmy Savile's handwritten letter to Margaret Thatcher we see the handwriting of a frustrated, sexually stunted individual.  He had the intelligence to achieve his intended goals with innocent victims who trusted him.  Further, his celebrity brought him the power to outsmart adults and children alike with charming phrases and great, intelligent humor.  A perhaps tragic victim himself, Jimmy had many fears exhibited in his handwriting, the greatest fear being that of being abandoned.


Jacob J. Lew's Handwritten Signature

A handwritten signature does not tell the entire story, but you can certainly gain some significant clues into one's character from the analysis of a well trained, professional handwriting analyst.  I looked at National Public Radio's (NPR) web site today and gasped when I viewed the handwritten signature of Jacob Lew, President Obama's nomination for the Chairman of the U.S. Federal Reserve.

Well, there's no doubt in my mind that this is one secretive man, and he isn't going to be blunt in explaining the details or facts of a situation - around and around and around we go...

I am sure that President Obama is careful to appoint a trusted leader.  However, this person shows in his signature that he's apt to hold everything very close to the vest.  He is detail oriented and focussed, but he certainly will not let others in on his agenda.  Cautious, introverted and imaginative, he's prone to defensive worry and is therefore vigilant about guarding his territory.  He likes process and structure, adhering to conservative parameters.  However, he is also likely to evade rules when they serve his interests or the interests of the organization.

Mr Lew has incredible fluidity of thought which is shown in the circular corkscrew design he creates for his signature.  His mind moves so quickly that he moves the pen forward in curly cues that allows his hand to never leave the paper, thereby enabling him to keep up with his lightning-fast  thought processes.  President Obama jokingly  kidded Jacob about his handwriting during a speech before the press and mentioned that not one letter of his name was clear.  Actually, one letter was clear and that is his "J" which indicates a confident sense of self and a desire to be well compensated.  That should not surprise us!  He shows a strong imagination and one might say he's so intuitive that he can be psychic at times.  Perhaps  these gifts will serve him well in his new role.

Jacob holds information to himself no matter what the cost, so I presume he will keep President Obama's secrets just that - secret.  But, would I trust him to lead the Federal Reserve Bank?  His signature shows that I would probably want to see a full page of handwriting before I nominated him for such a significant position.  He certainly thinks well of himself but watch out - he's not likely to reveal what his true goals are to the general public, or even his colleagues.  He can be kind and fun loving and childlike at times, and this endears people to him.  But in the end, with Jacob Lew, it's all about secrecy.  Transparency will not be a part of his administrative leadership - at least, not with us regular folk.

I am not a conservative so this is not an attempt to oppose the Obama Presidency.  Let us hope that the handwritten signature is created as a way of guarding his private life and thoughts.  Let us believe that a full sample would show a more direct, straightforward persona willing to tackle the tough financial issues this country faces with honesty and transparency.  For now with only a handwritten signature to go by, don't expect clear communications from this gentleman, at least not in public. He is brilliant intellectually, and that certainly will be a big help.  I just hope his guardedness will not cause us to forfeit directness as a nation in solving the big challenges we face together.